Covington Taco Impressions: Agave & Rye

Agave & Rye, located in Covington, claims to serve "epic" tacos along with a line of bourbon and tequila-enhanced cocktails. The decor is dark, hip and quirky, with nods to various cultures via a series of street art murals and funky Southern decor that hearkens back to our memories of New Orleans. More locations are planned, including one in Lexington, Kentucky and in Oakley Square.

The coming Agave chain was founded by restaurateur Yavonne Sarber, who'd kicked off her career with the now defunct upscale deNOVO restaurant in Columbus. Judging from file photos, the decor there seemed similar to Agave's --a dark, brooding, goth-magnet atmosphere --a cross between Southwestern "Day of the Dead" kitsch and an Anne Rice vision of New Orlean's night life.

The menu's concept, at least superficially, seems quirky and interesting: take all the good things about a taco and throw it on its ear by using a series of unconventional ingredients. These include kangaroo (because who doesn't want to chow down on the flesh of a cute Australian emblem?); mac n cheese; shrimp, cheese grits and andouille sausage; tater tots, fried green tomatoes and green beans; duck confit; corn fritters with crispy cauliflower; and fried chicken with Nashville hot sauce and pickles. Swipe Taco Bell's double-decker taco concept by wrapping a soft shell tortilla around a hard shell tortilla and you've got something barely resembling an authentic taco at all. Finally, make the tacos so overstuffed, top-heavy and unwieldy that it requires half a roll of paper towels to clean up after oneself.

Epic.

Chips and gaucamole

guacamole skin :(

We started off our first experience at Agave, whose curiously suggestive tagline is, "Put that in my mouth," with an order of chips and guacamole ($6.50). A large platter of gigantic, deep-fried flour tortilla quarters accompanied a comparatively smaller bowl of chunky guacamole.

So chunky was the guac that it was more a deconstructed collection of nearly-whole components than something one could adequately pick up with a tortilla chip. Large chunks of haphazardly cut onion and avocado looked like someone had forgotten to complete its preparation. Nothing was well blended or seasoned and consequently there was little flavor. The guac seemed hastily prepared because it clearly was. To punctuate this fact, we found a quarter of an avocado skin carelessly left in our bowl. Avocado skins are often not rinsed prior to cutting, which made the safety of eating our guac dubious at best.

Anticipating the size of the overstuffed tacos, my girlfriend and I opted for only two apiece. Her first was The Goddess ($5.50), with fried green tomatoes, house pimento sauce, sea salt and pepper tots, spicy pickled green beans and a buttermilk crema. Her second taco selection was The Swipe Right ($5.50), with grilled, honey lime chicken, sweet-and-spicy glazed bacon, aged white cheddar, sour cream and salsa.

The Alderman and The Hell Ya

The Goddess and The Swipe Right

I chose The Alderman ($6), with ancho grilled steak, Mexican street corn salad, cotija cheese and a Chile de arbol salsa. My other taco was The Hell Ya ($5.50), a crispy chicken breast with sweet-and-spicy glazed bacon, pimento cheese, pineapple slaw, BBQ sauce and a dill pickle.

The tacos arrived nestled in stainless steel taco holders for easier pick-up and presentation. And they did look impressively large, so much so that it took a few moments to strategize how best to handle them without making much of a mess.

While I'm generally not a fan of the Southern staple that is pimento cheese, I found Agave's mild and pleasing, with a cream cheese consistency. The crispy chicken breast, cheese and pineapple slaw married well, but I found it difficult picking up flavor from the remaining ingredients. My girlfriend came to the same conclusion: the individual components tasted fine, but their combination seemed disjointed, incongruous and, ultimately, bland. In all four tacos, there seemed to be one or two ingredients overriding all others, particularly the ones with bacon or pimento cheese.

Despite our efforts, we couldn't avoid having our tacos nearly fall apart around us. A roll of paper towels on each table hints at their messy nature. This band-aid "solution" seemed a bit frustrating. After all, if you have a ceiling leak, a bucket on the floor will only bide you so much time before you're forced to address the root of the problem. Instead of blowing money on rolls of paper towels, maybe the correct solution would be to figure out how to make your tacos more stable in the first place.

Contributing to the messiness was the fact that many of the tacos were prepared backwards to what one would expect: proteins rested on top of the taco, while the "toppings" were placed underneath at about the mid-point mark, with a notable empty space at the bottom. This arrangement made the tacos top-heavy and unstable. More is not always better, and the fact that we had such difficulty eating them proved that point immeasurably.

For us, Agave & Rye's alleged "epic" tacos were epically disappointing, due almost entirely to the food's preparation and execution. The menu itself is engaging, unique and compelling, but there seems to be little thought into making the experience pleasant and delicious. We spent more time cleaning up after ourselves with every bite than we did trying to focus on the flavors (or lack thereof). The guacamole was among the worst, most flavorless variants we've ever tasted, skillessly prepared with large bits of avocado skin carelessly mixed in.

Sometimes, first impressions are last impressions. I expect we won't visit Agave & Rye again.